Up from the grave it arose!
My son’s car had an issue. He did not know it was an issue, but immediately upon getting in his car I could hear it.
As a dad, experience told me something was wrong. I taught him how to ramp the car up on blocks carefully & examine the undercarriage. “C’mon down here next to me. Let me show you what I’m looking at, so you know.”
Sure enough, we could isolate and diagnose the noise and realized we had not one issue but two.
We live in a rural town so small that we don’t even have a Walmart, and every other auto parts store was closed on Sunday night, so down the two-lane highway to another rural town we went.
It was spring, and beautiful green fields had begun to grow back. The sky was that golden hour of blue, gold, and orange as the sun began to set. The weather was pleasant, cool but not cold. It had been a beautiful day in the Midwest. It was the kind of day you treasure in North Central Wisconsin, given our cold, snowy winters.
We went together because I always do this with my kids. And today, with my middle son, was no exception. If it’s your room, your car, your thing…I will go with you, teach you how to fix it, figure it out and explain why it’s important to do it this way. Sometimes, you get there, and they don’t have the part so you have to figure out an alternative. Sometimes I learn things I don’t know. My sons refer to these trips or talks as “life lessons” saying I have too many of them. But they still listen. I just always think, who else is going to explain this to them?
I have learned mechanics the the hard way. When I was a teenager, teaching me any mechanical skills was an exercise in anger management for anyone daring enough to try; although my foster parents taught me a great deal about the Bible, auto maintenance 101 was not really on the list of things I learned. Many times, I have been under a car or over an engine, literally praying for my heavenly Father to help me not lose bolts or put things together again the right way. It’s a prayer exercise in patience for me.
We were talking about something as the twilight was fading and POP! Suddenly and without warning, my rear driver’s side tire blew a hole. I’ve never had that happen before in such an explosive way. The steering wheel jerked slightly, and in a matter of seconds, I knew we were in trouble. We had literally just exited an even smaller town we had driven through to get the parts for the car at home on blocks. I was surrounded by farmland and no shoulder. I went about a quarter mile down, coasting the whole way, then spotted a Lutheran Church cemetery. I had driven by this place countless times. Now it was my safe space. I hung a right and quick left coasting onto the gravel road in the middle of the graveyard as the night crouched in on us.
Great. Now we were down two cars out of three.
My son got a crash course in holding the light while I attempted to remove the flat tire and replace it with the spare.
I was unsuccessful.
We both tried but the lug nuts would not budge even after standing on the breaker bar and bouncing on it. Now the stars were out. I realized no one would see us in a dark rural cemetery on a Sunday night.
My son began to curse, a natural response for some. I began to pray. I told him, “You know, one of these responses just might work. The other one isn’t very helpful right now.” He laughed. That was better than cursing.
In less than twenty-four hours, our family was supposed to drive two hours to Minneapolis to watch the Seattle Mariners play the Minnesota Twins. Now we were looking at a $304.17 repair to replace both tires as they were pretty worn anyway. I had to call road side assistance. We waited for over an hour in the pitch black graveyard, but the call came in…no one was coming to help us on a Sunday night. I recommended we leave the car until the morning, and schedule a 2nd appointment the next day.
We put the tools in the back of the van and I called my wife, waking her up as she had to be at work at 6:30 am the next day. She was frustrated, I was anxious, and my son was tired….and so we sat there in the light of our phones killing our batteries and waiting for my wife to bring our third vehicle and come get us.
Then…
In the darkness…
Something arose in that graveyard.
It was ugly, sad, creepy, and disgusting. It drooled with a hideous snarl. At first, I felt helpless because it was eerie and stronger than I expected. It was familiar yet distant. It appeared as an apparition, and it was not alone. It brought friends along.
My fear, my anxiety, my frustration, and my lack of trust….They were mine, they were there and they were hungry.
They glowered at me, chasing my feelings, clawing at my soul and tempting me to lash out at my situation, my family and at my God.
How irritating, frustrating, helpless and even embarrassed I felt in front of my son. I could not even change a tire! What kind of a Wisconsinite was I? We had less than twenty four hours to fix this whole mess. And I told myself it was all my fault. Nope that was not my inside voice. It was out loud! How would I get back here to fix my car? How would it all work out? How were we going to move one car, repair a second, pay for all this, go on this special trip, and not get irritated with all this happening in the background? Tick tock, the clock chimed in my head and time was running out.
But then, just as quickly…
My love began to return, my trust in God began to re-align, my patience re-engaged, and my peace was present again. I even joked with my son that this was a great way to learn a “life lesson.” And my monsters faded away, back to their graves, out of the light of the gospel of my life.
1 Corinthians 9: 27 (CEV) says: “I keep my body under control and make it my slave, so I won’t lose out after telling the good news to others.”
When the unexpected occurs in your life, what rises up within you physically? Is it healthy and good? Is it something decaying or toxic? Is it a poisonous behavior or attitude? Maybe some self-sabotage? Maybe anger makes others around you nervous or afraid of your next move. What rises up from within you in the dark that frightens others? What are your monsters?
Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) states: 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.
What will be the last thing you say to your kids before the the car door closes in the drop off line, before you leave from work, before you hang up the phone? Is it peaceful or will they walk with stress and tension for the rest of the day because your toxic monster arose from within you?
Romans 4:18-21 (NIV) says about Abraham from the Bible, “18 Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” 19 Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. 20 Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. 22 This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.”
If you believe in God, what arises out of you in difficult, maybe even seemingly impossible circumstances?
What have you died to so that Christ may live in you? Are you cursing or praying while you hold the light of the gospel for others to see the path?
I’m just as guilty as the next person at times.
James 3:11-12 (NIV) says, “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”
Don’t worry about the darkness, the fear, or the noises coming from the graveyard of your past. Just focus on the light.
Psalm 139:12 (ESV) reminds us, “even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.”
God’s got you, listen to his voice. Even in the graveyard when past behavior tries to haunt you. Let faith arise in you. He knows the way. And he’s there to help you. You just have to keep holding out the light for all to see.