Why Friendship Matters Among Christians
Why does it matter for Christians to have friendships?
- Christian friendship creates a safe space for confession: Christian friendship can be a place where people can be honest and share burdens. Confession can help people break the stronghold of self-justification and feel less alone.
- Friendship promotes the peace and unity of the church: Christians can glorify God by loving wisely and well in friendship.
- Friendship helps people see Christ and receive his grace: Christian friends can help people see Christ and reflect him to one another.
- Christian friendship reminds people of what’s important: Christian friends can remind people who and what is most important.
- Christian friendship provides support: Christian friends can provide encouragement and support when times are tough.
Christian friendship is based on the idea that the source of love is Christ who made the ultimate sacrifice for us, and that people can love each other because God first loved them. In John 15:15 Jesus called his disciples his friends, and showed the importance of presence in relationships.
Here’s some basic steps to help you out.
Let it go. The relationship especially with a believer is more important than being right. when Christians fight or refuse to speak to each other because they want to be right, it makes unbelievers question your genuineness.
Honesty and grace are a great combination. When your advice is solicited, be honest but be graceful about it. Ask: Do you want to know what I think or do you just need me to listen?
Agree to disagree well. You won’t agree on every subject. But focus on what you do agree on until you mature in your friendship to disagree politely and kindly. Remember Christ does not always agree with you and he still loves you!
Listen, Listen Listen. Put down or turn off the phone. Focus on eye contact, and asking questions rather than being quick to answer. empathize while avoiding statements like, “Oh I know exactly what you are going through.” If you say this it tells the other person that you now want to talk and what they said has just been dismissed. Find a better way to express that your relate.
What matters most to your friend? Can you answer that question? It’s a pretty deep question if you really think about it. Be intentional. We are all busy. We all have lots going on. It is very hard to be friends with those who don’t take the time to make the friendship important in their lives and actually notice what matters most to your friend…while we are on it. What matters most to Jesus when he thinks of you?
Don’t be needy. Nothing will kill a friendship faster than someone who always needs to talk, needs to visit, needs to be nurtured, or needs to have someone by their side but doesn’t take the time to be there for you. Healthy friendships are those that have much grace for schedules, family, and other people’s needs.
If you take even some of these next steps you may find yourself with better, more mature and longer lasting friendships with fellow believers.